For the second year in a row I won’t be celebrating a Thanksgiving, at least not formally.  Last year I was separated; this year I’ll have been divorced for nine months. Of course, I’ve been living by myself since April of 2007, so I should be used to this by now. I had thought of flying up to Michigan to spend it with my dad and his wife, but decided that it would be smarter to hang on to the money to pay down things, especially since I’ve been on three air trips already this year (Atlanta, which my employer paid for, in May; Boston, in July; and So. Cal. to visit my sweetheart, earlier this month).

The fact is that I’ve lost a lot this year. I started the year without a job, and while on the job hunt I lost my family and my home to a divorce process that seemed to pass like a blur. On January 6, she filed, and on February 21st, it was final. I walked away from everything that day. Lately, it’s all about money—the third of my net income that gets sent to the state every month for child support; the debts that I’m several months behind on in a few cases and are going into collection due to my being out of work for nine months and having to move out of the house on top of it, from which things never recovered.

That’s not say it’s totally depressing this holiday.  I do have things to be grateful for in the midst of such a stormy season.  I have a place to call home, even if it’s a small apartment in the middle of hickville. I have a job in spite of living in one of the worst IT job markets in the country when places are seeing layoffs in the thousands and tens of thousands, so at least my essential living expenses are getting paid. If the bank comes to repossess the little scoot, I still have the larger Burgman, paid in full, to get me from Point A to Point B. Most of all I’m incredibly grateful to have Vee in my life after so many years, and to be constantly overwhelmed and humbled by the love and passion she constantly lays on me across the miles. This last item alone has made life much more bearable and worth hanging on to.

So, let’s hear from you: What are you grateful for this year?

It’s been a rough last few weeks since returning from my weekend in Southern California, mainly because of a flu or something like it that simply would not completely go away. It has finally fully resolved itself, although I’m still taking the daily Claritin®-D and the Mucinex® to be on the safe side.  Being ill has completely messed up my normal wake/sleep cycles, and usually the only way to reset it is to do an all-nighter and then force myself to bed at a “normal” hour at the end of the night.

I’m both looking forward and not looking forward to Thanksgiving this year—or even to the holidays in general, for that matter. I enjoy the holiday atmosphere, and will especially get to enjoy it in places like Walt Disney World, Universal Orlando, and Busch Gardens Tampa, but I will be spending the holidays—for the most part—alone. Just like I did last year. 

What I am looking forward to is Vee’s visit to here in Florida in a few (hopefully short) months. Not having to be alone, but being with someone I love dearly, is the closest thing to heaven for me.